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Thoughts and whatnot

2024-08-03 ⁃ Creativley Exhausted or Bankrupt

ohhhh my god i fucking hate the creative process. am i uncreative? no i am flowing with ideas constantly. i can never execute them though. i love making music and yet it hurts me the most when i endure it. hopefully i get better in the future.


2024-07-28 ⁃ Today?

i started a new project to creatively exhaust myself. i dont think i like challenging myself more than i like punishing myself, theyre interchangeable.

i fail miserably talking to people, its really not that hard and i know that and i think the fact that i know that screws me over in having conversations becauase i always make it "easy" and basically being a yesman for the other. even when i do stand up for myself i feel like an ignorant and arrogant little guy.

and summer vacation is a nothingburger, i just rot in my room while yearning to go out with my friends


2024-07-27 ⁃ Start

i half assed an assignment. did i expect to do good? no, but ill be mad i tried to do better. summer school sucks, but im just a shit student (NOT even self-loathing its literally true)

also, first blog! so i guess thats cool. hopefully i get to double digits.